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BREAKING NEWS- BIRKENSTOCK SPECIES TRIPLES IN POPULATION THIS SPRING

 

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A gang of Birkenstock bearers spotted in Mr. Jones’ media room.

Breaking news from the campus of St. Joseph’s Catholic High School- the infamous Birkenstock has been spotted recently wandering the halls, classrooms, cafeteria, student lounge, and outdoor property of SJHS.

 

The Birkenstock is a sandal native to North America which has been known to brave the harsh Canadian winters but significantly increase in summer months. However, this year researchers have noticed its usual spring population spike nearly triple.

 

Many have wondered why the Birkenstocks behave this way, as in its regular habitat of retirement homes, it appears to be docile. SJHS student Brenna Cone has conducted thorough research into the infamous sandal and its invasive characteristics.

 

“Just like many other sandal specimens, the Birkenstock tends to display certain attributes of an invasive species during spring and summer,” she revealed in an interview. “We see less and less running shoes and boots, as their place in the school ecosystem is gradually being stolen with open-toed shoes. This particular year has created an incredible environment for open-toed footwear. The Birkenstocks have been quick to take advantage of this climate, and began reproducing, as heat provides essential breeding conditions for sandals such as these. These shoes find strength in numbers, and used the warm weather to accomplish this”

 

Upon further investigation, scientists have discovered that the invasive effects that Birkenstocks have on other footwear is much more hostile than upon first glance. Boots and running shoes and even some fellow open-toed shoes that once roamed the halls with pride have retreated to hiding in lockers, and some have even migrated to other habitats in order to maintain their families and keep their young safe. Birkenstocks have not been observed as being hostile directly to other footwear, yet their territorial instincts prove to be disastrous to the overall quality of life and abundance of other shoe species.

 

“The Birkenstock population has grown immensely over the past few months, yet we do have one last line of defense against their tyranny: socks.” mentioned Cone about possible population reduction. “They are an essential part of the school ecosystem, protecting other animals from harm’s way. It’s versatility has allowed it to be able to shield almost any of the fauna. However, the sock has the near opposite effect in open toed shoes. The receiver is rejected from the rest of the pack, being labelled as what we would call a scrub, or an outcast. The shoe then flees to a separate location, to avoid such taunting. If we can equip some of the Birkenstocks with socks, their numbers may decrease, and then disperse throughout the school.”

 

Although research has been and continues to be conducted, there are still many questions floating among the St. Joe’s population in terms of this infestation; will there be an end to this monstrosity? Is this the apocalypse we’ve all been anticipating? Jag Media will be keeping you updated on all developments in this intriguing case.

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Students Engage in Earth Day Cleanup Initiative

 

 

On Wednesday, May 2nd, 2018 during fourth period, the student body of SJHS participated in a clean-up effort focused on improving the outdoor environment of the school.

 

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(From left) Elizabeth Kenopic and Megan Winters clean up by the basketball courts.

 

Due to rain and unsuitable weather conditions, the clean-up was postponed from April 22nd to May 2nd.

Recent climatic conditions suggest that the Earth’s climate is changing negatively, this change brought on in the most part by human-related causes such as greenhouse gas emissions, agriculture, and pollution.

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(From right) Abby Weeks, Hudson Valiquette, Maddie Britt, and Morgen Weeks pose for a photo in front of the now garbage-free soccer field.

“I think that it’s very important to participate in clean-up initiatives like this, because it teaches students to be responsible, and also helps keep the school grounds clean,” said Kennedy McCallum, a grade 10 SJHS student.

Pollution is one of the biggest global killers, affecting over 100 million people. That’s comparable to global diseases like malaria and HIV.

“In my opinion, we need to be more environmentally conscious in our daily lives to ensure that our children and grandchildren have a safe environment to grow up in,” expressed McCallum. “Once one person starts helping out, someone else joins them, and soon you have a whole school making a difference. It’s a ‘follow the leader’ concept.”

 

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(From left) Hayden Lacasse, Chloe Charette, Thomas Cherney, Jacqueline Thaci, and Kennedy McCallum pose for a photo while tidying the school grounds.

 

Not only did this event help preserve the school campus environment, but it taught students the importance of fabricating a sustainable environment for our future as well.

The global temperature on average has increased by 0.6 to 1 degree Celsius since the 20th century. This change, although subtle, brings about awareness in regards to our planet’s ongoing climate change. This change, along with other effects of global warming, can be reversed through acts as simple as organizing a school cleanup.

A Sleepover At School?

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RENFREW- It’s THAT time of year again! St. Joseph’s annual year Fast is coming up on Tuesday March 20th. Everyone is welcome to the overnight fun filled experience. You stay after school on Tuesday and sleepover into Wednesday. All you need to attend is to collect money donations from family and friends to donate to the Renfrew Hospice and bring one snack or beverage.

The boys and girls will be separated by the divider in the gym when time for bed. In the morning everyone is escorted into the chapel for prayer before eating then during period 1 every student that attended the Fast will be welcomed down into the cafeteria to eat all of the snacks and beverages that were brought.  It tends to be very successful every year and loads of fun!

We start off with games of your choice in the gym for a few hours and then leads into a game from student council that involves not only all of the students but also the entire school. Student council hides pieces of a flashlight around the school and everyone runs and tries to find all of the pieces, meanwhile there is 2 people who are ‘it’ and tag people to become ‘it’ as well to make it more difficult to find all of the pieces. This creates a more intense and fun but challenging environment during the game. Then the flashlight is put together the game is over.

Everyone is encouraged to come out and have some fun while making positive contributions to the community. In the past there were tons of memories made and such a positive effect on everyone that they come back every year. Also a little inside scoop from Daniel Cassanto, 

“The activities and games were a lot of fun, and from the time it started until it was over everyone was in a great mood!”.

CO2 Dragsters in Grade 8A

Copy of Copy of IMG_0354On Friday March 23, Grade 8A raced their CO2 Dragsters in the cafeteria at St.Joseph’s High School. Mr.Mulvihill’s grade 8 class has being participating in the tech explore block for the last 6 weeks. They have been creating CO2 drag cars from scratch throughout these weeks.

 

There was many steps in creating these cars. First, students had to design what they wanted on paper, next they were given a block of wood and had to drill holes with the drill press. Next, they ad to draw the side and front views on the block of wood, carve it out and sand it down for a few days. After it is totally sanded out and completely smooth, you can paint your car. The next step is to create the stickers you want to appear on your car, then you print them and stick them on your car. Finally, you add the wheels and your car is finished.

 

“Our favourite parts about creating these cars were decorating and racing.” said two students Peyton Gray and Ryan Kelusky.

 

They did a practice run on Thursday March 22, to test out their cars and prepare for the real race the next day. The cafeteria was full of excitement on Friday. Mrs.Dickerson took the win out of all the grade 8’s, grade 8 teachers and Mr.Trainor. Ryan Kelusky took second place after having to tape his car back together because it didn’t make the practice race.

 

Tech teacher Mr.Charkavi wanted to do this project with the students because they really get a chance to explore what the tech course is like and it is a fun activity to learn and experience.

 

New students are entering the tech explore block and are excited to get started.

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